Values

Through the years, our priorities change and we adjust our compass. This itself is not a problem at all.

The problem happens when we get into a seemingly endless cycle of reflecting and analyzing what we are doing, why we are doing it, how we are doing it, and what we are going to be doing next. I call this the River of Reflection. Some of us dip our toes in and some live on a riverboat.

Reflection is a bad thing? That’s not what Therapy 101 says.

No, what I’m saying is that reflection is helpful when it is a tool for life, but becomes unhelpful when it becomes a way of life. Sometimes reflection takes such a prominent role that it crowds your mind, zaps all your energy, and stops you from experiencing your life.

Instead of endless analyzing, we can figure out what you truly want and need and where to aim your compass.

Let’s approach this differently. Clinical hypnotherapy can help you achieve greater clarity in terms of revealing what is truly important to you and increasing your motivation to start moving toward those values. Also, Trauma-Informed Assessment can help in instances where you may not be sure of your values, strengths, or potential. The assessment process can identify those priorities and create an action plan for moving forward.

But what if, instead, I told you that there’s a two-fold approach to combating loneliness and isolation?

First is to open yourself up to really being seen by others and to be willing to really see others, rather than only seeing what we want to see. This, however, would be much easier if we saw ourselves truthfully, knew how to see ourselves, and liked what we saw. In other words, having an intimate and positive relationship with yourself.

The second part of this approach is to take advantage of your membership in whatever community you identify with, whether that’s very local (your family) or global (an Earthling). There is a primitive drive inside each of us to belong to a group and to be recognized as a group member. This only happens when you are an active member and when the group becomes a part of your identity.

In typical therapy, you will talk about each of your relationships and determine all of the shortcomings and how to fix those problems. I think there is a more creative solution. We can instead expound on opportunities for self and group connection as a pathway to improving the relationships in your life.

Let’s approach this differently. Clinical hypnotherapy can help you achieve greater connection in terms of helping you understand what you actually need in order to feel a sense of connectedness. Also, through Trauma-Informed Assessment, we can identify your unique connection needs and develop a plan to improve your relationship with yourself and ground you as an integral member of the community.

These examples hold one thing in common — there is some sign or piece of evidence that is telling you that something might be wonderful in the future.

Chances are good that at some point during your childhood, you may have felt like this most of the time. You were constantly learning new things — about the world, about your surroundings, about your capabilities — and each new learning carried with it some possibility. What. Could. Be.

I think that people who chronically over-reflect about themselves, their lives, and others are trying to attain two things. One is safety (trying to make sure you’ve covered your bases) and the other is hope. People who over-reflect are sometimes trying to find some new sign that some wonderful possibility is ahead.

Here’s one more potentially controversial hypothesis — I think that we (psychologists and clients) focus on the safety part because it seems more acute and disturbing. But when we focus on the safety part, this makes people reflect even more!

Let’s approach this differently. Clinical hypnotherapy can help you achieve greater hope by reminding yourself about innate hopefulness that is inside of you and showing you the path toward possibilities. Also, through Trauma-Informed Assessment we can identify the potential that lies in you to attain that “could-be” future.